My first experience with the medicine of Huachuma (the San Pedro cactus) was one of the best days of my life. The second time, not so much. The difference came from how it was served. To get the full healing of Wachuma (the Grandfather spirit), I believe it must be prepared properly and administered by a dedicated shaman or healer.
What is Huachuma (San Pedro)?
Huachuma (or Wachuma) is the native name of San Pedro, a cactus that grows in the Andes mountains of Peru, Bolivia, Ecuador, Columbia, Chile, and Argentina. The indigenous population has used it for thousands of years as a medicine and a method to expand consciousness. It's one of the most sacred plants of the Chavin culture of Northern Peru, evidenced by a stone carving from 1300 BC found in the Jaguar temple showing a shaman holding a tall Huachuma cactus. While there are few Western scientific studies on the medicinal effects of Huachuma, indigenous sources speak about “miracle cures” for a variety of illnesses, including depression, addiction, cancer, diabetes, etc. Nowadays, many people microdose Huachuma to aid against depression.
Preparation of Huachuma
The medicine can either be prepared from fresh cactus flesh or—more commonly—from dried pieces of the stem ground into a powder. It's boiled in a big pot of water for several hours until only a small, concentrated amount remains. After it's filtered and cooled, it's taken as a tea or a shot. It's not the best-tasting medicine, so the more it can be boiled down, the better.
How to Sit with Huachuma (the Ceremony)
Like with any shamanic medicine, Huachuma should not be taken as a recreational drug or in a social setting. Treat the medicine with reverence. Ideally, sit with a shaman or a spiritual teacher. For a few days before, eat light, as you would when preparing for an Ayahuasca ceremony. Carefully prepare the space where you will take it—perhaps with candles and music, set an intention for your journey, say a prayer of gratitude to the medicine and the ancestors, and only then take the medicine.
The effects of this Grandfather plant are gentle but powerful and will last 12-14 hours.
Make sure you won't have to drive anywhere for the next 48 hours. It's good to have some food prepared: crackers, fruit, maybe a sandwich. This will help with the nausea.
My First Experience with Huachuma
The first time I sat with the Grandfather plant, I didn't know what to expect. My sister had bought the powder from Peru and we boiled the powder according to instructions from YouTube. I think we used 150g (for both of us), and boiled the liquid for seven-eight hours, topping up the pot with water when needed.
It was a beautiful morning in Portugal. We said a prayer, set an intention, and thanked the earth, the sun, the indigenous people of Peru, etc. Then we took the shot. We had read that the effect takes a few hours, so I went walking on the beach. My sister stayed at home. But within thirty minutes, I started feeling a bit queasy and tired. I sat down under a tree. My sister texted me and said she was feeling sick, too, so I started making my way back to her house. I had to pause a few times, here and there, as I had no energy. The nature around me slowly came to life. Vibrating. But I only wanted to get back to my sister, to make sure she was okay.
From the moment I walked in the door, my sister and I couldn't stop laughing. And sure, we always laugh a lot when we are together, but this time we couldn't stop. Everything was funny. We howled with laughter! I couldn't even drink water, because I would start laughing and spray the water all over. My nephew came down to see what was going on—the poor thing was trying to study for an exam—and I'm sure it was a bit scary to see two grown women laughing like that, without abandon.
The laughing lasted five whole hours. FIVE!
At one point, I listened to shamanic music, and the ancestors were telling me that the plant medicine should be called Huachuma because San Pedro is the name given by the conquistadors (the Spanish invaders). I also had a spiritual sense of being one with everything and floating above the Earth.
My sister took the dog for a walk and tried not to meet any neighbors because she couldn't stop laughing.
A few hours later, I also took the dog for a walk. By this time, the laughing had subsided somewhat, but instead, the patterns of the trees and bushes and flowers were fascinating. I could have stayed looking at a tree trunk for hours because the patterns were moving and absolutely beautiful. But I was "sober" enough to know that anyone who saw me would think I was crazy.
Unfortunately, I did not write in my journal after this ceremony, so I can't remember all the details of my experience. But I did think Huachuma was such a happy medicine, and I think my sister and I both needed laughter as a release.
My Second Experience with Huachuma
Ever since the first time, I wanted to sit with Huachuma again. But since the medicine is illegal in the United States, there weren't many opportunities. Finally, in September, a spiritual couple that I trust announced that they would hold a Huacuma ceremony, and I signed up.
The ceremony took place in New York City, in the backroom of a coffee shop where mats were laid out in a circle. There were fifteen participants (eight women, seven men) and, leading the ceremony, was a South American shaman and his musician from Maryland. On the windowsill above my mat was a statue of a Native American chief, like Sitting Bull, and I was amazed because the same figure had turned up in my meditation session lately. As I wrote this in my journal, my sacred chakra buzzed.
My Intention
I set the intention to open my heart and let go of control, something that my psilocybin experience had taught me I needed to do.
Preparation
Before we began, the shaman cleansed all of our energies with Palo Santo, a Peruvian sacred wood that is quite common nowadays in the Western world. Then we each received a bucket, and the hosts told us not to interact with one another in the room because we might take on their journey. Instead, we should each focus on ourselves and let the shaman care for anyone who needed help.
Huachuma Crystals, Not Powder—Ugh!!!
I was told before the ceremony that this shaman uses Huachuma crystals, not powder. I didn't think it would make a difference, but it did. And I would definitely not recommend it if you want a positive experience with Huachuma.
Each of us received a plastic mug. Then, one by one, we went to kneel before the shaman. He added 2-3 spoonfuls of Huachuma crystals into the mug and mixed it with a cup of water. The idea is to drink it quickly because it's a disgusting mix of branchlike pieces and what tastes like mud, and then the shaman adds more water, and you keep drinking until the cup is "rinsed out" and you've ingested all the Huachuma crystals.
An Instant Connection with the Spirit of Huachuma
The shaman had said that it would take 4-5 hours until the Huachuma took effect, but for me, it was almost instant. In fact, even before the ceremony, from the moment I woke up that day, I had seen sparkles from the corner of my eyes, and rainbows, and glitter al around me. And as we were preparing, the woman on the mat next to mine and I got the giggles, as if Huachuma had already kicked in.
As soon as I sat down on my mat after taking the cup of Huachuma and as I started meditating, I received the message, "I want to let the Monster go." The ego.
I understood the monster as being my ego, or the "Bad Kristi" who puts other people down, who bullied people when I was a child, and who sometimes says things on purpose, knowing it would hurt someone. The shadow me, in other words, the part of me that is ruled by separation from the Source (or God, the Universe, etc.). I could clearly distinguish between "Me" (my soul, oneness with God) and "The Monster," just as I had experienced during my psilocybin ceremony. I sense the Monster at my forehead and the Me at the back of my skull, slightly above/behind me. Since then, even outside the sessions, I can distinguish what thoughts come from my ego/mind, and which ones come from my Higher Self.
"Who am I? I am God."
At some point early on, while I was still meditating, I asked myself, "Who am I?" The same question had also come to me during my psilocybin session. The answer came quickly, "I am God." I also had the experience of shooting straight up to Heaven, floating among the stars, which was overwhelmingly beautiful. But it didn't last long.
Open, My Heart, Open!
My heart chakra became warmer and warmer, heating up like a fire in my chest. I focused on opening it like a lotus flower and letting love spread out through me and the Universe.
Letting Go of Fear(s)
Before the ceremony, I had read somewhere that if you feel queasy during a plant medicine ceremony, it's because you are holding on to a fear that you need to release. And given the Huachuma crystals were really disgusting, I did feel quite nauseated. To let go of the queasiness, I spent some time focusing on fear issues. For example, when I focused on my fear of not being enough, I received the message:
"How can I think that God is not enough? God is perfect. I am God, and I am exactly how I am supposed to be."
This wasn't at all an "I'm better than all others" message, because I knew we were all God, everyone in that room. I also focused on my "Fear of not being loved" and my "Fear of Showing weakness." To be honest, I couldn't quite let go of that last one. All through the night, I was battling whether I should throw up, and I wasn't sure whether I really needed to or not, and if I was "keeping it in" because I didn't want to show weakness.
Letting Go of "Fixing" Everyone
All around me, people were throwing up, as if it were an Ayahuasca ceremony. It was so different from my first (very happy and pleasant) experience with Huachuma. The hosts had told us not to interact with others, and I found it hard to pull back my desire to help the people around me, and instead focus on my own journey. I had to face this quality of mine that I always want to fix everyone else's problems and make sure they are happy, often at a great cost to myself.
Sacred Rapeh Snuff: The Healing Companion
A couple of hours in, the shaman offered rapeh for anyone who desired it. I regularly use rapeh during meditation, and it's one of my favorite shamanic medicines. The shaman said it was an extraordinarily powerful rapeh and advised anyone who needed healing to take it. I didn't feel like I needed much healing, at least not on a physical plane, but I was curious and decided to take it. Going in a counterwise circle, the shaman started at the other end of the room. Watching the others take it (the shaman blows it into your nose, one nostril at a time), was quite scary. An older man screamed and thrashed around on his mat as if the rapeh was painful, or as if he had taken Bufo, and he threw up into his bucket. Most others also had a very strong reaction.
When it was my turn, the effect was less dramatic. I got some rapeh in my mouth and spit it out, and then I had a similar journey as when I meditate at home. I went deep down into the underworld at first, and then I rose up into the skies and became one with the stars. This time, however, I knew I was one of them, not just seeing them in a vision.
Dose Number Two: Make It Stronger, Please
I was waiting and waiting and waiting for the psychedelic visions to kick in, as when I sat with Huachuma the first time and all plants and flowers and patterns came alive. But they never did. So when the shaman offered a second dose for anyone who wanted more, I lined up to deepen my experience. To be honest, I was a little bit reluctant because the crystals were disgusting, but I wanted to see if I could let go of control.
The shaman asked, "Sientes la medicina?"(do you feel the medicine?) and I answered, "Un poquito." (a little bit).
The second shot was even worse than the first one, It was full of bits and pieces, like eating something off a dustpan, almost like sand. I drank the first shot, then the rinsed-out shot, and then the shaman filled up the mug once more for a third shot. OMG, the last sip of the Huachuma was the most disgusting thing I've ever had. I drank it, and I
gagged. Not just once. For quite a while, I sat with a tissue to my mouth and the bucket ready, if I would throw up. But in the end, it settled. I needed to move, so I went outside into the backyard. I danced and jumped and propelled my arms for a while. I talked to the vines that grew up the walls, and I felt as one with them. But I still didn't have any visions.
Sound (Bath) & Visions
I was called inside when the sound bath healing part of the ceremony started. I lay on my mat and just listened. It was beautiful. I lay on my back, or alternated into child's pose, while absorbing the sounds and enjoying the visions.
I saw people I hated, including a specific orange politician, and a few soccer players I find arrogant. And I saw beautiful people, including some soccer players I love.
I asked why I always see TFG's face when I take psychedelics, and I received the answer, "This is the hate you keep in your body."
Interestingly, the people I saw were not people I know personally, just strangers I really dislike. I was able to let go of the ill will toward these specific people and replace the ire with indifference. I was told that there's no reason to carry this extreme dislike against people I've never met, and once I understand this, I can let go.
My mum appeared and she was beautiful. She was much younger than when she passed at 53 years old, and so vivacious. There was so much love from her, and she said, "I'm always around." I asked about Dad, and she said he's not around so much.
A certain famous person I spent my entire youth being deeply in love with appeared. At first, he was with his wife, and very distant. Later, he came through as a very young boy, and I could feel the powerful connection between us. Very strange. I'm not sure what that means.
Coming Back Down to Earth
At around 5 a.m., the shaman said, "We've been playing music for seven hours now, time to go home." We all stood in a circle (some were seated, still too nauseated to stand), holding hands, and thanking the spirit of Huachuma. At this point, I did see some psychedelic visions. Some people stayed on for a while to discuss the night, but I just wanted to go home, especially as we were having a party at our place that same night.
I took an Uber home, and that's when I started feeling jittery and happy. I danced in the elevator, riding up to my floor. After having something light to eat, I went to bed. And THEN, I had the most crazy, funny, fast-moving visuals.
So.... Would I Do It Again?
I wouldn't take Huachuma in crystal form again. I don't think it's necessary to suffer with Huachuma. It's supposed to be the gentle Grandfather spirit medicine. But I would absolutely love to take it in powder form again. The spirit is so beautiful, and the lessons so profound.
Actually, this experience made me interested in becoming a shaman because I believe I could help others have a more beautiful experience than what we all had that night. I would want everyone to experience the beauty and the healing of shamanic medicines. But I would have to do it in a country where it's legal. Unfortunately, it's not legal in the United States yet.
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