Many years ago, my sister and I were talking about how to achieve enlightenment. “We are supposed to love everybody,” she said, and we practiced it during a walk around the local lake, sending a silent “I love you” to everyone we passed. If it worked for a second, the feeling didn’t last. Loving Kindness is a practice that takes time to cultivate, evolve, and nurture. But don’t get me wrong: it’s quite doable.
The practice of “loving kindness” is an essential part of Buddhism, where it is thought of as a mental state or attitude. It’s different from just being nice, it’s more about wishing others to be happy, no matter how they behave toward you. While it may be easy to love your friends and family, and to wish the postman or bus driver well, but can you genuinely shower a mass-murderer, a rapist, and a terrorist with love?
I’ve practiced Loving Kindness (Metta in Pali, Maitri in Sanskrit) for a few months, and it’s had a profoundly positive effect on both my overall mood and my life in general. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a work in progress. It’s not something you can conquer once, and benefit from forever. It needs to be maintained. But, as with everything, it gets easier the more you practice it, and eventually, it will become second nature.
Meditation Practice
Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths. In your mind’s eye, surround yourself with a golden, loving light. Really feel unconditional love for yourself, the way you would love a parent, life partner, or pet.
Repeat the following phrase until it’s absorbed into your entire being: “May I be happy; May I be healthy; May I be comfortable and at peace.”
Now visualize someone you truly love, and surround them with a golden, loving light. Repeat the following phrase: “May [he/she] be happy; May [he/she] be healthy; May [he/she] be comfortable and at peace.”
When you feel yourself filled with love, move on to someone you are neutral about: an acquaintance, a neighbor, etc. As before, surround them with a golden, loving light. Repeat the following phrase: “May [he/she] be happy; May [he/she] be healthy; May [he/she] be comfortable and at peace.”
Next, think of someone you absolutely hate. It may be a politician, someone who has hurt you, your worst enemy at work, a historical person, etc.
Surround them with a golden, loving light and repeat the following phrase: “May [he/she] be happy; May [he/she] be healthy; May [he/she] be comfortable and at peace.” Make sure you continue until you wholeheartedly feel this wish to be genuine.
Finally, extend this love and good wishes to everyone in your town, in your region, in your country, in the world.
By starting with yourself, you cultivate a true, loving relationship with yourself. Some of us are in the habit of always criticizing and putting ourselves down. However, if you cannot feel love for yourself, you cannot wholeheartedly love others. Remember, you are also one with God, or with the Universe.
Once you’ve gotten used to this meditation practice, bring the sentiment into your daily life. As soon as anger or annoyance rises within you, perhaps when encountering a rude sales clerk or an angry motorist, visualize them surrounded by a sphere of golden, loving light. Repeat the mantra: “May [he/she] be happy; May [he/she] be healthy; May [he/she] be comfortable and at peace.”