The first lesson I learned from the spirit of Ayahuasca was to never judge and never compare. This vital life lesson has served me well in the year since the ceremony. (Read more about my Ayahuasca experience here).
On that cold November night, on my first night with Ayahuasca, I kept thinking I should have gone to a real shaman in Peru, after all. Someone who came from five-six generations of shamans, not just a Spanish shaman, because I had expected a much more intense journey. Little did I know, that it's not the surroundings or the spiritual teacher that determines your experience, but your preparedness, your own mind, and your openness to change.
Ever since that day, I've noticed how often I judge or compare a person, place, or experience to another, in a never-ending pursuit of perfection. But now I have the tool—the awareness—to stop myself and appreciate everyone and everything for their own sake. For example, while having dinner with friends, you might think, "Hmm, this Fettucine Alfredo is not what I expected, it's too oily. I preferred the pasta at that other restaurant." Or when you travel to a new country, you might think, "This temple is pretty, I just wish they had replaced the ornamental windows with the same kind instead of those modern-looking ones. Now it looks uneven." Our friends and family aren't safe from judgment, either. How many of us haven't thought, "I wish my spouse/girlfriend/lover was more like my friend's partner, they're always so cheerful and appreciative."
When you always find fault in things and people, you're not staying in the present moment. You forget to appreciate everything for what they are. Your thoughts turn negative and critical, and you end up focusing on everything bad. Instead, I've learned to stop myself at the moment of judging or comparing.
If my first thought is, "This yoga class is really boring," I change my thoughts to, "How lucky I am to have an affordable yoga studio so close to home with classes that suit my schedule. I'm going to focus on breathing now."
Instead of thinking, "Anna thinks she's such a great cook, but this food is so bland," I change it to, "Maybe I should try to use less salt in my food, too. She probably has more sensitive tastebuds. [after taking another bite] I can actually taste the carrots. It's pretty good, even though it's different than what I'm used to."
And when, at my lowest moments, I think something terrible, like "God, that guy is ugly," I immediately swap it with, "He might have been a cute kid, and he probably has a kind heart. After all, beauty is only on the surface. Why would it matter? Why do I care? Why has society made me judge people on their looks? [here, I take a deep breath]. In another culture, he might be considered beautiful. His eyes are warm and friendly. Yes, he's someone I'd want to talk to. Maybe we can be friends?"
By letting go of judgment and comparison, we open ourselves up to acceptance and compassion. We can appreciate the diversity of human experiences and learn from each other.
By embracing what is (not what could be) we enhance our lives, moment by moment, until we learn to appreciate everything and everyone around us.
Nowadays, whenever I notice that I'm judging or comparing something, I just say to myself, "No judgment, no comparison." And I redirect my thoughts to the positive.
Try it. It may rock your world!